***This is a very good part of the article.
Drop the gratuitous “dirty and ashamed” posture; you’ll be far more successful in your efforts if you take active responsibility for dealing with your addiction.
TheStar.com | living | Porn addict must stop living in denial: “Drop the gratuitous ‘dirty and ashamed’ posture; you’ll be far more successful in your efforts if you take active responsibility for dealing with your addiction.”
or if that link doesn’t work go here and click on the link text below the “Learn More” text on the right hand side of the web page:
http://www.providentliving.org/content/list/0,11664,4177-1,00.html
Gordon B. Hinckley, “A Tragic Evil among Us,” Liahona, Nov 2004, 59–62
[Pornography] is like a raging storm, destroying individuals and families, utterly ruining what was once wholesome and beautiful.
…While the matter of which I speak was a problem then, it is a much more serious problem now. It grows increasingly worse. It is like a raging storm, destroying individuals and families, utterly ruining what was once wholesome and beautiful. I speak of pornography in all of its manifestations.
I do so because of letters that come to me from broken-hearted wives.
I should like to read portions of one received only a few days ago. I do so with the consent of the writer. I have deleted anything that might lead to disclosure of the parties concerned. I have exercised limited editorial liberty in the interest of clarity and flow of language.
I quote now:
“Dear President Hinckley,
“My husband of 35 years died recently. … He had visited with our good bishop as quickly as he could after his most recent surgery. Then he came to me on that same evening to tell me he had been addicted to pornography. He needed me to forgive him [before he died]. He further said that he had grown tired of living a double life. [He had served in many important] Church callings while knowing [at the same time] that he was in the grips of this ‘other master.’
“I was stunned, hurt, felt betrayed and violated. I could not promise him forgiveness at that moment but pleaded for time. … I was able to review my married life [and how] pornography had … put a stranglehold on our marriage from early on. We had only been married a couple of months when he brought home a [pornographic] magazine. I locked him out of the car because I was so hurt and angry. …
“For many years in our marriage … he was most cruel in many of his demands. I was never good enough for him. … I felt incredibly beaten down at that time to a point of deep depression. … I know now that I was being compared to the latest ‘porn queen.’ …
“We went to counseling one time and … my husband proceeded to rip me apart with his criticism and disdain of me. …
“I could not even get into the car with him after that but walked around the town … for hours, contemplating suicide. [I thought,] ‘Why go on if this is all that my “eternal companion” feels for me?’
“I did go on, but zipped a protective shield around myself. I existed for other reasons than my husband and found joy in my children, in projects and accomplishments that I could do totally on my own. …
“After his ‘deathbed confession’ and [after taking time] to search through my life, I [said] to him, ‘Don’t you know what you have done?’ … I told him I had brought a pure heart into our marriage, kept it pure during that marriage, and intended to keep it pure ever after. Why could he not do the same for me? All I ever wanted was to feel cherished and treated with the smallest of pleasantries … instead of being treated like some kind of chattel. …
Porn/Sex addicts are always looking for something better. Pornography has no emotion no concern for others – only concern/interest for self.
Sex is something you give and not something you get.
(from a BYU Women’s conference by Brad Wilcox)
This scripture I have heard is one of President Monson’s favorites and I think it applies to avoiding porn and having the Spirit and having angels round about us to bear us up – which obviously all of us could use – particularly in overcoming porn addiction.
D & C 84:88
88 And whoso areceiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go bbefore your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my cSpirit shall be in your hearts, and mine dangels round about you, to bear you up.
One of the biggest damages that pornography can inflict on someone, is the time that it wastes (like any addiction), this loss of time correlates to a loss of potential growth and magnifying of talents and success that the addict sacrifices for the temporary “high” of pornography.
D & C 72: 3-4
3 And verily in this thing ye have done wisely, for it is required of the Lord, at the hand of every asteward, to render an baccount of his cstewardship, both in time and in eternity.
It is obvious to any addict that there is fear (mostly about being discovered) associated with the addiction. Also it is very obvious that pornography’s only purpose is to “commit adultery in their hearts.”
D & C 50: 14-18
14 There were among you aadulterers and adulteresses; some of whom have turned away from you, and others remain with you that hereafter shall be revealed.
This is also very obvious that which of God is light and the more lightness you receive the more you are worthy to receive more.
Pornography is definitely darkness and is usually viewed in dim light or darkness and the way to freedom is to chase the darkness (pornography) from among us.
D & C 50: 23-25
23 And that which doth not aedify is not of God, and is bdarkness.
This scripture is so important it is repeated three times. Obviously porn addicts treasure up the pornography.
Mathew, Luke, and 3 Nephi
Mathew 6:21
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
4 For although a man may have many arevelations, and have bpower to do many mighty works, yet if he cboasts in his own dstrength, and sets at naught the ecounsels of God, and follows after the dictates of his own will and fcarnal desires, he must fall and incur the gvengeance of a hjust God upon him.
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